I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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