A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
