I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
