Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
