OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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