4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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