i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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