that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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