youre lurking in front of me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
