WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Of course I have a pirate flag
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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