Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
