I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
