It was confusing and full of hummus
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
