Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
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