things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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