Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
