im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
