therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
