all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
