It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize