so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
why is half of my head shaved?
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