Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry about my life...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
