I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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