my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
