I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
