Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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