there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
