i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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