so explain again why im purple
no
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
