Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
