I wish life had little blips of pornography
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
