Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
