Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
