I think I died a long time ago.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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