she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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