i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
