So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
this hospital has no fireball
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
