some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
