i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
