At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
