Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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