i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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