Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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