her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize