At least make sure they are 18
Why
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
