But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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