I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
