I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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