As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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