also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
