I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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