Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize