I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
