whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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