When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
