what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
