the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
