I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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