I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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