You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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