My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
