Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i now understand why vodka
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
