Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
