Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize