My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
