No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
