I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
