these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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