you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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