it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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