He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Please don't give away my fajitas
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
