Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
