You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
