I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize