Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
