I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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