She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
