Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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