Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
